He never has to know
by SilverDawn2
Summary: A rough ans. to Severitus' Challenge. ~ 'He may be my child, but he never has to know.' Um, I've just changed the rating. Sorry!


A rough reply to Severitus' challenge =P

He never has to know 

SilverDawn

15 years ago…

            Darkness was all that surrounded him… The night was far colder than the usual October weather, and for three days, the rain that fell in England never ceased to stop, and the Dark Mark loomed over every part of Europe, inducing fear in the entire Wizarding community. Not surprising – Voldemort was rising fast, and hard, the number of deaths that escalated in the last nine months alarming, to say the least.

            In one of the huge unplottable manors that was scattered in the Scottish highlands, a man stood in a chamber, face schooled into an impassive façade as he gazed at the rain splattering against the ornate windows. He looked slightly pale under the light emanated from the fireplace, and his hands were trembling slightly as he held onto the windows ledge – a rare occurrence for him.

            "Severus…" a voice called from behind him, and though soft, Severus Snape stiffened. An unknown anger surged in his veins, in turn blinding his usual perceptive mind. _How dare her!_ Turning around to face the petite redhead; Severus Snape, recently-defected-to-the-light-side Death Eater, snarled, face contorting into an angry expression as he hissed, "What are you doing here? Get out!"

            The lady in black flinched a little at his sharp tone, but stood firmly at her place, emerald eyes desperate to seek his face for any possible traces of affection. Finding none, and seeing the unhidden hatred directed at her, the lady's heart dropped, whispering softly, "Severus, I had to explain. I'm marrying James because…"

            "Spare me the theatrics," The raven-haired man interrupted coldly, "No more lies Lily. You're going to marry James next week. That's all I need to know."

            "But I!" Lily Evans tried to explain; yet she was never given a chance. Severus just stared at the woman he had loved with all his heart with a look of utter dejection.

            "You said you loved me," Severus continued in a bland tone before laughing bitterly at his stupidity, "you said you'd never leave me." Onyx orbs stared at Lily's emerald ones with unrestrained accusations – accusations that hurt Lily's heart more than anything, "so why agree to James' proposal?" He almost shouted out the last sentence, the cool demeanor that he had held since young – since the time his parents died – finally cracking.

            "Sev, there's a reason!" Lily all but screamed in frustration, feeling more helpless than she'd ever felt before. She knew that the man before her would have a hard time acknowledging what she had tried countlessly for the past few months to explain; but she had never predicted, much less knew that Severus would avoid her at all costs. Not to mention his not even looking at her when they passed one another when they met in Hogsmeade, or Diagon Alley since the announcement of James and her engagement four months ago, when Severus had been called away for a fortnight by Voldemort to oversee the raids in Ireland.

            His ignorance of her very existence and the icy glare he gave her whenever they actually saw one another incidentally had hurt very much. Hell, she even had to prevent Sirius from hunting him down just to knock some sense out of him several times throughout the past months.

            "Severus, if you'd just _listen_!"

            "Lily, I've had enough." The man spoke tiredly, shoulders slumped against the armchair that he had just sat on, eyes closed as he willed the torturous pain that still lingered in his entire body to be more bearable. Not surprising, Cruciatus afflicted by the Dark Lord just don't disappear in seconds. The agonizing pain usually lingered from an hour to a day or two, and that was to say the least. Add the burning on his left forearm, and Severus was, in short, feeling Hell at its peak.

            Quietly, Lily walked over to where he was seated and took in the frown on his forehead. He had not taken down he Glamourie he had up, but even the charm was starting to fade – showing how tired the man was. He was perspiring profusely, his hands gripping the resthold of the chair so tightly that his knuckles were white. With a gentle hand, Lily brushed a few stray strands of hair from his forehead, feeling the man stiffen slightly at her touch.

            _God, what did that bastard do to him?_

            "Cruciatus?" The fiery-headed lady whispered shakily whilst Severus gave no answer…

            His taut expression gave it all.

            "Oh my God. Severus I…" Lily trailed off when she saw the man underneath her convulse slightly. _It's starting again. The worst of the after-effects._

            The raven-haired man was having a hard time controlling himself. He wanted to whimper, to thrash at something, or just do _anything_ that would make the pain recede. But he couldn't.

            Not with Lily around.

            Instinctively, he knew that should he do anything drastic, he would indirectly hurt Lily in the process, and that thought alone prevented his magic from manifesting into something that would wreck the entire room – all the furniture and potions – into shards and splinters.

            Yes. No matter how much it pained him, he still loved Lily with all his heart – or what's left of it – despite all he had said to the woman earlier on.

            And that was why his eyes flew open when he felt a tender kiss on his forehead. Like what she had done countless times before, when he had returned after a Revel still suffering from Cruciatus, Lily trailed kisses from his forehead to his left cheek, trying to divert all his thoughts from the pain he was experiencing whilst silently snatching a vial of pain-relieving potion using a bit of wandless magic. However this time, Severus jerked from her kisses roughly, though Lily did not relent. Instead, she straddled his thighs, nibbling his right earlobe and stroking soothing circled on his chest with her free hand – actions that caused the man to shudder.

            Lily took her time at calming the high-strung man, and under her administrations, Severus started to relax slightly. It was only then did she uncork the potion and drained it in one mouth before bringing the man into yet another kiss, this time, allowing the bittersweet liquid to stream from her mouth into his.

            Like old times, Severus swallowed the potion easily, thankful that the potion took immediate effect. Tongues sparred as they prolonged the kiss, and amidst his still hazy mind, he started to return Lily's caress with uninhibited ardor, temporarily forgetting who she now was.

As the fiery-headed lady started tugging at the tails of his shirt, Severus placed a moist, open-mouthed kiss at the hollow between her collarbones, sucking slighting at the soft skin before moving back up to trail feathery kisses alone her jaw-line. Her blood pounded at this sensation, and Lily hastened to remove the accursed button-up shirt.

            His hands found her breasts, lightly caressing them under the soft silk of her dress, as the nipples grew taut. With the silk as the only barrier, he continued rubbing her nipples between his fingers, alternating between being gentle and pinching, causing Lily to moan. Emerald orbs pleaded the man for more, but got pulled onto the fur rug in front of the fireplace instead. Startled, she glanced at Severus, only to stifle a gasp as the man magicked their clothes away with a flick of his hand.

            In the next instant his mouth was on hers, his tongue darting inside her mouth, thrusting intimately, powerfully, suggestively. One of his hands cupped and squeezed her breast, tugging at her already erect nipple whilst the other traced idle circles at the small of her back, causing Lily to gasp in his mouth. Releasing her from the kiss, Severus continued to shower light, butterfly kisses from her face to her chest before taking one of her lush breast into his mouth, sucking at the fevered tip as Lily instinctively arched her back, silently pleading for more. As if heeding her plea, he proceeded to deliver the same administration to her other breast as her hands went everywhere, stroking his lean form where muscles rippled underneath velvety skin. One hand played with the dusky nipples till they went erect whilst the other was in his soft hair that was – surprisingly – not greasy at all.

            Severus stifled a moan as one of her hands suddenly groped his manhood, stroking the length of it gently. In retaliation, his hands strayed lower, past her abdomen, down the wet curls and to the sensitive nub.

            "Severus!" Lily moaned as the man continued to trace circled around the swollen flesh but never directly touching her, causing her to wriggle restlessly, her hand's actions forgotten. She was trembling with need, and his not putting her out of it wasn't helping. Noticing her restlessness, the man allowed himself a small smile before letting his fingers roam over her swollen sex, teasing the lips of her entrance at the same time. 

            "Ah… " Lily murmured, arching against his hand as, this time, Severus chuckled. Finally, he began moving his fingers teasingly on her clit, eliciting another moan from her as he continued to tug at the swollen jewel. The fiery-headed woman was urgently heating up, and carefully, with his other hand, Severus inserted one finger, then two, into her slick passageway – much to the pleasure of Lily – all the while still stroking her tender nub. He started moving, slowly at first, then gradually progressing, sliding his fingers fully in and almost out, leaving Lily helpless with at the sensations building up with her.

            She was almost coming, her hips matching the thrust of his hand when he pinched her nub, albeit forcefully. Her body tensed involuntarily as his fingers brought her into her first climax, the muscles in her vagina clenching his fingers in regular pulses. 

The raven-haired man watched as Lily's skin flushed a pale pink, her face one of blissful content. Extracting his hand, he trailed the wet fingers over one cheek, watching the woman smile as she pulled him down into a soft, sweet kiss. Both of them were sweating slightly despite the cold temperature, cuddling together as Lily's spasms slowly ceased, his hard-on not unnoticed.

Lily knew that Severus was a sweet man under the cold exterior, his wanting her to be fulfilled above anything showed. This time, it was her turn to please him, even if he did not want to. Disentangling from their embrace, she pushed Severus onto his back before he could ask anything, and slipped herself onto his manhood, both of them startled by the sudden action.

"Lily!" Severus moaned, partly out of desire, the other because of the sudden warmth that enveloped him. She was slick with want, and felt so tight around his cock, her walls molding around him, milking him even as she started moving. Lily, in turn, moaned at the hard length that filled her entirely. It just felt so right.

She moved a little, allowing his manhood to rub at her swollen member while she moved up and down, letting her lover suck her breasts whilst they continued moving in a synchronized movement. Severus felt himself stiffen as he was about to climax, whispering, "A little faster, snapdragon."

The affectionate nickname made Lily comply, and as she moved, feeling yet another peak coming, she felt a stray hand finger her clit, causing yet another tide of pleasure flood through her senses. Involuntarily, she shuddered once more, climaxing heavily on him as her walls tightened around his engorged manhood. The spasms brought Severus into his own climax, and he poured his essence into her womb as the woman lay spent in his arms, her weight settling comfortably on his own.

            "I love you." Lily whispered softly into his ear as she fell asleep in Severus' embrace. The black-haired man just stared at her, watching her sleep before Accio-ing a blanket to cover to two of them; for fear that she might catch a cold. Stroking her soft, copper-red hair, he murmured, "Love you too."

Minutes passed as the man continued hugging her, wondering absently how their bodies fitted one another so well. He could not understand why she would willingly bed him when she was engaged to marry another. But before he could ponder over it, he chucked the thought into the back of his head, intent only to memorize her face, her scent, her lithe body, hoping against hope that she would change her mind about marrying James.

            But he was wrong.

            By the next day, before dawn, she was gone.

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Fifteen years later…

Summer holidays in Hogwarts

            Severus Snape, evil git potions master of Hogwarts awoke to a painful erection. Inwardly, he cursed himself for remembering the last night between them. The wonderful lovemaking that preceded an imminent heartbreak. Many a time he had told himself to forget her, yet somehow, he just couldn't bring himself to obliviate his past to forget about her – Lily, mother of that brat of the boy-who-lived. Even if it was a painful past, he had never regretted loving her, nor had he ever stopped loving her, even if she was dead for almost fourteen years.

            Taking the photo frame placed at their bedside, he allowed himself a small, bitter smile at the happy couple waving to him from the picture. That was him, un-glamouried, with Lily by his side, both of whom were grinning obnoxiously to the cameraman – James Potter. Contrary to public belief, he had still been good friends with the Marauders – excluding Peter, he just could not stand that idiotic tagalong - during his school days, and despite Remus' almost killing him, he never actually blamed anyone of them, other than himself being in Slytherin. For if he hadn't been in Slytherin, Remus might actually trust him enough to tell him he was lycanthropic.

            It was only when James announced his engagement with Lily that he started breaking off ties with them. That was also why he hated Harry J. Potter so much… It represented the union of his only love and another man. The man who was his blood cousin, and possibly, his best friend in school.

            Placing the frame back to the side table, he took down the Glamourie he had placed whenever school was held, revealing a face that looked very much like James Potter, though with subtle differences. 

His hair, unlike James, was much more manageable, being soft and straight instead of an unruly mess. The potions master remembered how much his cousin had complained about his having the Snape black hair but not having the silky texture of it. His cheekbones were also much more chiseled than the Potter line, but had a square jaw instead of a sharp one. Their eyes were the only obvious difference when in school – his was a bottomless black while James had the warm gray eyes from his father's side.

_Did Lily go out with me earlier because I looked like James?_

            Shaking away those depressing thoughts, Severus Snape went into the adjoining bathroom, dreading the cold shower that followed, knowing that it was the only way to get rid of his arousal.

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End of chapter…

Well, this is my first attempt on smut… so I'm not sure whether it's good or not. I know that this does not have any Harry in it, but he will be introduced soon enough, by Remus of course!

Also, I have no idea how to write the summary, so forgive me if it's so vague. This fic will most likely be short too, having to deal with how Sev is going to see Harry in the future, so stay tuned!


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